


Words Left Behind

by authoresswithoutwords



Series: Left [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Break Up, M/M, Mental Instability, Obscurus (Harry Potter), Regret, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/authoresswithoutwords/pseuds/authoresswithoutwords
Summary: What turned Albus Dumbledore from a clever and lively young child into the old regretful man Harry met at Hogwarts? Well, it started with a request from a friendly neighbour and an innocent letter, addressed to "Mr. Gellert Grindelwald, Durmstrang"...//This story can be read independently of the other works in the series.//
Relationships: Aberforth Dumbledore & Albus Dumbledore & Ariana Dumbledore, Albus Dumbledore/Gellert Grindelwald
Series: Left [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1658788
Comments: 7
Kudos: 134





	Words Left Behind

It all starts when Albus is a little boy.

No, that is wrong. It started even earlier.

Earlier, when Albus was not born yet.

It started when Kendra was thrown out for not marrying a pureblood like her father wanted and instead lay with her soulmate, even getting pregnant out of wedlock.

Within a month, her father switched from, “How will a Mudblood besmirch our noble Family!” to “How dare our daughter besmirch this noble Family!”

Long story short – not that Albus ever got the long story –, Kendra marries her soulmate in a hurry and is pushed out of the comfortable pureblood life she’s known since her birth. For the first time ever, she has to consider banal things such as rent, and cooking, and cleaning.

It does not go well.

This resentment is laid at her soulmate’s feet, but he handles it and her amiably. By the time their son is born, they are happier than they’ve ever been so far – so happy, in fact, that another son soon follows.

But this child does not enter quietly like Albus did. Oh no, Aberforth is more energetic, almost unbelievably so. He screams and yells and kicks his mother’s uterus so badly that the doctors and Healers say it is unlikely she will ever carry a child to term again.

Kendra is devastated, but with the comfort of her new-born son, her not-so-new-born son and her husband, she soon returns to her normally happy disposition. Her joy is so much greater when, after about ten years of hidden tears and bitten-off desires, she grows round with child again.

She gives birth to a beautiful little girl, as lovely and wonderful as one can imagine a baby to be. The fact that darling Ariana gave Kendra’s uterus the last kick it could handle is forgotten in the face of such an angelic infant. Not only in Kendra’s eyes is she the most perfect thing to ever exist on Earth; her brothers love her just as much. They adore her every movement and excitedly listen for every gurgle in the hopes that it might be their name escaping their baby sister.

But then comes a Hogwarts letter.

Even decades later, Albus remembers that day: first the joy of almost being a proper adult now and getting to use magic followed by the revelation that he will have to leave Ariana behind. What brings every other child happiness made the boy cry his heart out for a week.

But all begging and sobbing didn’t help and punctually on September 1st, Albus leaves behind his happy family. A year later, Aberforth follows him into the train, as heart broken as Albus’ is, but with the knowledge that Ariana didn’t forget Albus and surely won’t forget him either, right…? This makes it easier for Albus, guiding and helping his brother to get his sister out of his head. Or he tries, at least. He constantly catches himself wondering if Ariana has learned how to pronounce Aberforth’s name correctly yet – though “Abth” sounds delightful from her tongue – or if she has learned to tolerate the taste of vegetables without being coaxed and promised a sweet in exchange for every emptied plate. It is unfortunate that school comes easily for Albus, that he has a feeling for magic no-one else seems to have. Where others fail the whole lesson long, Albus succeeds on his first try. He takes to tutoring those who are struggling, but even this doesn’t take up as much of his time as he wishes. Kendra laughingly protests that if he absolutely has to write a letter each day, could he maybe also show interest in his poor old mother and not only his adorable sister?

But Albus knows that she doesn’t mean her joking words. He and Aberforth know better than anyone how pleased Kendra is that her sons adore their sister so much. She says that their loving presence makes up for her father’s absence, but gaining money in the Muggle world after seemingly dropping out of school at age ten is difficult, and that is not even counting in the exuberant exchange rates the Goblins demand for pounds to Galleons transactions.

As time passes, it gets easier, being away from his loving family. Albus finds friends in Hogwarts, and with Aberforth there, he can share his suffering, and shared sorrows are sorrows halved. As classes progress and the teachers ask for extra-credit homework, Albus finally isn’t bored anymore. Ariana gets to an age where she learns to write herself, and her clumsy letters are a pleasure to read. It truly is a fortune that Ariana loves her brothers as much as they adore her, having demanded to learn how to read and write as soon as she understood that they could communicate like that during the school year.

So Albus doesn’t think much of it in seventh year, having fully entered puberty and standing tall and proud with broad shoulders, a sharp mind and sparkling eyes, when he strolls into the train with Aberforth complaining about summer homework behind him and throws a last look outside at his beloved family. Kendra holds Ariana back from also climbing up the steps, smiling broadly. Ariana is caught between pouting at being separated from her brothers and grinning to send them off. Their father has an arm around both of “his lovely girls, but my sweet Ariana is the prettiest of them all!” and uses the other to wave at his sons.

Albus does not know it yet, but it will be the last time he sees them.

When he returns in the middle of May in a hurry, the happiness has been ripped away from them.

Ariana is a mere ghost of what she once was. Instead of a cheerful, playful child, she is a shadow, sticking to the background and corners, frightful of leaving the house, afraid of every loud word, terrified about each quick movement. She clings to Kendra, twitching at everything.

Kendra also isn’t what she once was. Instead of a lively, joyful woman, she is a worn-down ghoul. Her beauty was leached away by her sorrows, her laughter chased away by two young Muggle boys who touched what never even should have crossed their minds, who harmed what should be protected, who have not _paid enough_. She is crippled by the loss of her soulmate, her husband, and of her little princess.

Their father took their pound of flesh when the Aurors said they could not interfere with the Muggle world, and pays for it.

The one letter a month he is allowed to send to his family only reinforces two things: that he doesn’t regret it at all, and Kendra’s feelings of impotent fury and endless sadness.

Albus finishes school in a hurry, still getting perfect grades, but lost in thoughts about his poor mother, and his pitiable sister.

And thoughts grow in his heart that his peaceful character once would never have permitted.

For the next year, Albus takes care of his mother who slowly falls sick and weak, broken by the world around her. He tries his best to be there for his sister who is so terrified of any magic, even her own, that her power regularly acts out, damaging the house as if the destruction would vanish that _incident_ that caused this situation, not seeing that every time, it makes Ariana fear her magic more.

His friends all leave him behind, too busy with their jobs and apprenticeships and lovers and fiancés to care much about the brilliant boy whose story was cut too short by his own family.

Ms Bagshot is a godsent. She sees the lonely boy in a house too big and not big enough, who wants to flee the situation and do everything to be there for his family, who is ripped in two, and she tries to help.

She tells Albus about another boy, lonely in far-away Durmstrang, isolated by language and temper, and so it all starts.

It all starts with a letter.

It all starts with, “ _Dear Gellert,”_ …

For a year, everything is… not fine, but liveable. Acceptable.

Except that Ariana grows worse, the temper tantrums of her magic worst and Kendra…

Sickly heart broken Kendra, who does not have the will to harm her daughter, the most precious person in her life, is smashed against a bed and a closet and a window and falls and falls and falls… and lands.

And doesn’t rise anymore.

Albus comes home from a pleasant meeting with Aberforth in Hogsmeade to find his mother bloody and dead on the grass and Ariana in hysterics and hyperventilating in her room.

Now, all the responsibility to care for Ariana rests on his shoulders. Mighty though they be, strengthened by youth and the knowledge that a bright future awaits him, the lot cast for him is too heavy.

Resentment grows.

After the school year, with Aberforth’s graduation, it gets easier. Albus gets a job in the village, an assistant in the only shop they have. Aberforth takes a night shift in the bar. The brothers switch with one another, each taking one half of the day to look after Ariana, trying to keep the family afloat and hoping for the best.

But Ariana grows worse and worse. Where before, she could not even leave the house, she now is terrified of going out of her room. It is terrible to go home and see their vibrant sister so lifeless, to see a seven-years-old girl so broken, but they shoulder on.

The letters grow more and more numbered, more and more intimate and detailed. They talk about illegal things, hidden desires, unaccepted and unacceptable wishes.

They talk about revenge.

And finally, one letter promises, _“My dearest Albus, I am pleased to finally be able to share this summer with dreadful Aunt Bathilda and, of course, you…”_

They meet.

Gellert is tall and blond and handsome. His smile is broad and showing bright teeth when he alludes to the last letter Albus wrote him and says with a heavy accent, “Judging from your letters, you agree with me that we should eradicate all Muggle scum.”

And then, he stops short for a second and, with a confused frown, lifts his wrist to show Albus – black words, changing to red as a tingling sensation starts up on Albus’ wrist. Albus lifts his wrist to show – matching red words.

The rest is, as they say, history.

Many years later, Albus will say to Minerva, “But oh, I was caught up in the storm of my, of our feelings, of love so great words cannot describe it! We flew across Europe, always united, always together, never alone. We learned magic we’d never before imagined, found people and places we’d never dreamed of, climbed to heights we’d never dared even think of. But after a climb, my dear, always comes a fall. And how terrible was ours…”

And he will think back on leaving Ariana with Aberforth, promising money and, with his eyes, retribution. He will remember Ariana’s tearful eyes following him as he leaves. He will be reminded of Aberforth’s doubt and fear.

But back then, he was captured with everything he was by Gellert and what he offered – freedom and revenge paid in blood.

At first, there are no problems.

Albus and Gellert love each other, and they travel the world, earning money, searching for a cure for Ariana, sending letters and pictures.

They never stay long enough to get a reply.

Young and foolish, they declare war against the world that has harmed one of them so, Albus not seeing that one of them actually has the will and insanity to stay true to their plan.

It starts small. Gellert will show an interest in Dark Magic, and who is Albus to deny curiosity? They research, and find that it is not that different from Light Magic.

Then, it gets bigger. From researching, it moves onto using. No matter how much Gellert begs and pleads, Albus denies him every time, wary even after everything he’s read.

Then, it gets bigger still. Gellert practicing Dark Magic turns to Gellert practicing Dark curses on living beings.

When Albus packs his bags to leave, Gellert shouts, “But how else will we get the revenge we so desire?”

Unhearing, Albus leaves.

He returns a week later, shaken to the core about the terrible nature of Muggles he encountered during his walks over battlefields and through destroyed cities.

World War One, they will later call it.

To Albus, this war represents so many things.

The initial push.

The idea.

The _belief_.

The mistake…

And the loss.

Gellert starts collecting like-minded wizards and witches. They all are out for blood, hoping to get the revenge that they were denied.

Then, he collects more. These were not denied justice, but their beliefs. They are rabid blood fanatics, willing to do anything if it would cleanse their bloodlines and kill a few Muggles.

Albus closes his eyes and thinks of the broken figure of his baby sister, his darling Ariana.

On that fateful day, Albus returns to Britain to talk to his brother, trying to recruit him.

Aberforth greets him with a coldness he has never heard from him before.

Ariana is worse still, and Aberforth is unhappy with Albus for leaving him alone with her. He tells Albus about the many nights she’s cried herself to sleep, thinking that her oldest brother left her just like her father and mother did before him.

Albus is struck by silence and blinded by the need for vengeance.

He closes his ears and doesn’t think at all.

It all comes to an ugly end.

Gellert followed Albus to Britain, and when he sees that Aberforth wants to convince Albus to leave, leave the cause, leave _him_ , he brandishes his wand.

“You have no use for him,” he tells Albus.

Torn, Albus doesn’t react quickly enough to ward off the _Crucio_ Gellert throws at Aberforth.

That is the last fibre of a very strained rope.

Aberforth is Albus’ brother, connected to him in blood and their all-giving, undying love for Ariana.

A duel, too quick to comprehend, to think.

Albus is torn between his brother and his soulmate, unwilling to see that he has to sacrifice one to keep the other.

Until he loses both.

From her window, Ariana saw the fight. Wanting to help, she gathers all her courage and runs out of the house for the first time in years.

She is tiny, yet her figure is so very powerful.

She runs up to them, stamping her feet as she did when she was younger, before the fear ate her up, and yells, “Don’t fight!”

A moment of wonder – the eyes of the brothers meet, knowing what a miracle it is to see their sister in the sun once again, looking like nothing can hurt her, looking _alive_.

The next, she crumples to the floor.

Forever.

Gellert flees.

Aberforth leaves.

Albus is broken.

Not so many years later, he finds himself in a shabby room in a run-down orphanage, and he looks into a pair of eyes, determined and oh-so familiar.

He heard the words of warning, and this time, he will heed them.

Quicker than he thought, but faster than he hoped, yet slower than he desired, more drawn-out than he believed, it comes to an end.

A scorned lover on one side, a mourning brother on the other.

A mythical wand on one side, a burning need for revenge on the other.

A broken charm on one side, broken trust on the other.

One spell.

One winner.

And still, Albus cannot bear to see his soulmate – is this even his soulmate? Is his gentle Gellert hidden behind those eyes full of insanity and madness? – hurt or even killed, could not bear to look at his wrist and see grey words and know he was responsible, so he says, “Take his magic and lock him up in that fortress he built himself.”

Is it justice or revenge that motivates him when he announces the sentence he knows will hurt Gellert more than anything else mankind could torture him with?

And when his greatest fear comes true, when he looks into those eyes with sadism barely hidden, not seeing the desperation to belong, to return home, to amount to _something_ in this cold and cruel world that has only just survived two world wars, he coldly says, “No” and congratulates himself on keeping the danger away from innocent children, lively and playful and alive like his Ariana once was.

And later still, looking into green eyes, green like darling Ariana’s, spilling tears over his cheeks, he bleeds with regret, but the course is decided.

“I am sorry, my boy,” he says, “but this is for the greater good.”

And turns his back on the boy with the scar with the Horcrux, with the enemy, with all his mistakes looking back on him.

And doesn’t dare turn around.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading! I hope you liked this story!


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